Saturday, 31 August 2013

Stranger Danger

As my wife discovered some months ago, strangers are more than willing to make comments about most things related to pregnancy and not all of them are positive (see The Perfect Package).  Pushing my daughter around in her buggy, I have discovered that strangers are also willing to make comments towards new parents about their children and the 'joys' or parenting.  Most of the comments I have received have been about how beautiful my daughter is.  I couldn't agree more.  It fills me with pride and I have to admit that I do, unreasonably, find myself getting annoyed when people don't make comments about Daisy.  However, some comments I have received haven't been so positive.  Funny, maybe, but not the gushing comments I have become accustomed to.

One such comment got me very worried recently.  On my way back from picking up the Sunday paper from the local shop, a gentleman, who had been in the shop too, caught up with Daisy and I to give me a pearl of wisdom.  After the usual small talk about Daisy's gender (as if the pink blanket didn't give it away) and age, this man, whom I'd never met before, imparted the following words of wisdom: 'The first word you need to teach her is 'elope'!'

Here was a man who had clearly spent a lot of money on his daughter's wedding.  Maybe there was more than one daughter and more than one wedding.  Looking at the slightly manic look in his eyes as he bitterly exclaimed the word 'elope', this is entirely possible.  I laughed nervously and the conversation was soon over.  When I'd returned to the house, the reality of this stranger's comments hit me.  We have already set Daisy up with a cash ISA and bank account.  We will regularly save money for her so that when she turns 18 she will have some funds to help with university fees or for travelling (I'm pretending the latter is an option, but it won't really be!)  I started to panic.  Do I need to start saving for her wedding already?  Having paid for our own wedding last year, my wife and I have a good understanding of the excessive amounts of cash that can be spent on one day.

Fortunately, the panic and worry didn't last long.  I suddenly remembered what I have consistently reminded my daughter since her birth.  There will be no boys.  Ever.  Therefore, no wedding.  Ever.  I am sure this is what every new dad thinks about his little girl.  Of course, it rarely works out like this.  But, I can dream, can't I?

The reality is that my daughter already has me wrapped around her little finger.  Although, as my wife pointed out recently, there are worse things to be wrapped around (I'm not sure if this was a subtle personal insult or not!)  So, it is entirely possible that Daisy will be able to persuade me some time before her thirty-fifth birthday that she should be allowed out on dates with boys.  Therefore, my only other way of ensuring that boys stay away is to be an intimidating father-figure.  I can imagine most of you who know me are sniggering, and the rest of you outright guffawing, at this suggestion.  You are right.  I am not at all intimidating. 

I guess I'll have to start saving for that wedding after all then. 

1 comment :

  1. Oh, wow. What a horrible man! Amazing what people can do to scare you. Anyway, I'm sure your daughter will take your wishes into account while growing up :).

    Funny post!