Dad Dancing

I already feel sorry for my daughter.  And she hasn't been born yet.  I am not at all 'cool'.  I am worried for my daughter, as I will undoubtedly embarrass her.  There will be any number of reasons for this embarrassment.  Top of the list has to be my dancing!

Recently, I attended a friend's wedding and a school disco.  I didn't go to the disco to dance.  I was there in a professional capacity.  But at times I couldn't help myself and I started to dance before quickly realising where I was.  I immediately stopped, but it wasn't always quickly enough and I looked around to see more that one child sniggering at me or rolling their eyes.  At the wedding I did dance.  I didn't dance well, but it's the thought that counts!

I don't think my daughter is going to be impressed that I know all of the moves to 5ive's 'Everybody Get Up'!  There is nothing impressive about it.  Unless you've had far too much to drink.  And at that stage it isn't so much impressive as hilarious.  I can guarantee that she will be embarrassed by it.

As I said, the dancing is just the top of what is quite a long list.  At school we are currently rehearsing a performance to share with the rest of the school and parents at the end of the year.  The children will be performing various routines to a range of modern music.  My problem is that I have not heard most of the songs that they are asking for.  When I ask, "Who sings that?" they look at me with pity in their eyes.  How could this out of touch, old man not know that Jessie J, Ollie Murs or One Direction sings that song?  And, who on Earth is this band called Counting Crows he keeps suggesting?

I don't listen to the radio any more.  Radio One, as far as I can tell, seldom plays music.  When they do, it isn't, in my opinion, any good.  Instead I listen to my iPod.  I do love music.  I am always downloading  it.  None of it, however, is what my daughter will want to listen to.  There isn't any Justin Bieber, The Wanted, Rhianna or Bruno Mars.

So, there's dancing and music for me to embarrass my daughter with.  There's also my choice of car.  I have a Kia C'eed.  It is great to drive and a good size to accommodate our expanding family.  But, it isn't the coolest of cars.  Whilst I might not have the same car when my daughter is old enough to attend school, I don't have a good record when it comes to selecting my motors.  My previous car was an even more embarrassing Rover 45!  I imagine that, once she is old enough to attend school and have conversations with her friends about what car their dads drive, my daughter will probably say something like, "Oh, we don't have a car.  We use the bus."

And of course there's the buggy!  We, it seems, are already prepared to embarrass our child before she is even born.  Pushing her around in that very bright and vivid colour will do nothing for her street-cred.