One Petrified Every Minute

Over the past few months, I have, more than once, woken to the sounds of a pregnant woman screaming.  And it wasn't my wife.  I should probably clarify that first sentence.  It has actually been several different pregnant women.   The screaming doesn't stop when I wake up.  I haven't been dreaming.  It is in the room and it terrifies me each and every time.

I have always had a habit of falling asleep on the sofa with the TV on.  This has been happening a lot recently.  Maybe I'm tired from the busy nature of my work or getting the new house decorated.  Maybe it is because I've not been sleeping too well at night because of my high levels of excitement about the pregnancy, as well as my many worries and concerns about it.  Whatever the reason, it means that I often wake up disorientated and confused for a couple of seconds long after I should have taken myself off to bed.

It is during these moments on a Wednesday night that the screaming happens.  The TV is showing One Born Every Minute, the documentary set in a maternity ward.  The screaming pregnant women are in the process of giving birth.  It is graphic and very real.  This is what will happen to my wife next month and it is this situation that causes my greatest worry.  Childbirth.

I have never felt comfortable watching this programme.  I take myself from the room if my wife watches it.  In fact, she is feeling more and more uncomfortable watching it now that the big event is drawing nearer.  When I awake to the screaming, my wife isn't in the room any more.  She has gone to bed and I'm left wondering (once the panic has subsided) if she has deliberately left the TV on that channel in an attempt to remind me of what she will have to go through soon and how lucky I am not to have to go through it myself.  My wife isn't that type of person, so I am sure it is just a coincidence.

http://lifebegins.channel4.com/ 

I have felt pretty useless throughout the pregnancy and I'm sure that I will continue to feel this way for the next 5 or 6 weeks.  But, that is nothing to how useless I am sure I will feel in the delivery suite.  I have no medical experience or training at all.  If my wife needed help with her multiplication tables or spellings then I'd be pretty useful.  She, of course, doesn't require this kind of help.  She needs trained midwives and doctors.  Thanks to the wonderful NHS she will get this.  She will also get me, whether she wants me or not!

I'm prepared for the inevitable abuse I will get during labour.  I will deserve it.  I will have had a significant role to play in my wife being there after all.  I'm not sure I'm prepared for much else. 

I do know that I will have it easy compared to my wife.  I also know that she will be in excellent and incredibly capable hands.  Everyone in the health care profession that we have met over the course of the pregnancy has been caring, knowledgeable and professional.  I have the utmost confidence that they will look after my wife and child.

I have heard many positive stories from male friends about how amazing it was being in the room when their child was born.  So maybe I should stop worrying and look forward to it!