Nappy Days

One of my first duties as a new father, as I understand it, will not be an altogether pleasant experience.  Of course, I'm not talking about any of those things I can't wait for, like holding and cuddling my daughter for the first time or seeing her in her mother's arms.  No, I'm referring to changing the first dirty nappy.  I'm led to believe that it is a scenario which strips both parties of their dignity.

For those of you who have already experienced these meconium nappies, I take my hat off to you.  (Well I would if I was wearing one.  I'm not.  I don't like them messing up my hair!)  You survived to tell the tale, which gives me inspiration.  I am, however, still fairly worried about what lies ahead.  Everyone I have talked to about these first nappies describes them as disgusting and impossible to clean up.  Now, I would love to believe that my daughter will be like the Queen and not do anything in her nappy other than the occasional wee.  But, the reality is that she will be like all other babies and I will be called upon to do the honours whilst my wife recovers after the birth.

During our final NCT class this week, we were given the opportunity to change a nappy.  We were allowed to select our own 'baby' from a basket full of them.  Don't panic.  They weren't real babies.  They were dolls.  We'll skip over the fact that my wife chose the weirdest looking one in the basket for us and move straight on to the nappy changing.  Assuming that the nappy I was changing was just a clean nappy (because after all, dolls don't poo or wee), I happily started to undress the doll and take off the nappy.  It was at this point that I realised everything was not quite right.  The reaction of those around me tipped me off to the fact that there was something unexpected to be found in our dolls' nappies.

Our NCT course leader hadn't been sourcing actual baby poo to put in these nappies, but she had done the next best thing.  She had used various condiments to simulate baby poo.  My nappy contained a runny yellow substance which turned out to be Dijon mustard.  The couple next to me had one with treacle in it to simulate meconium.  We were given just water and cotton wool to get our dolls clean.  Why no baby wipes?  Good question.  It is frowned upon to use baby wipes on newborns.  So, when we got home, we removed our pack of wipes from our hospital bag as neither of us wants to be tutted at by a disappointed midwife.  Cleaning my doll was easy enough.  Yes, I did get some on my hands.  But, I managed to clean it up and put on a new nappy quite successfully.  Those with treacle in the nappy struggled.  Warm water and cotton wool aren't enough to get treacle, or meconium, off of a baby's bum.  You need a chisel, blow torch and some sand paper.  Although, I think that you might get more than a disapproving look or a less than subtle tut if you unloaded any or all of these from your bag at the hospital.

I'm hoping that I will be so euphoric after the birth of our baby that changing even the most disgusting of nappies will not affect my mood.  If not, I guess that's what therapists are for!

Too Busy to Worry?

It's been a busy week.  Things always get busy in any school towards the end of the school year, with reports to write and end of year productions and displays to prepare for.  This year is different though.  To add to the heavy workload, we are of course preparing, or 'nesting', for the birth of our daughter.  The benefit of all of this is the fact that I haven't had too much time to worry about my impending fatherhood.

Our little lady's wardrobe

Bags packed already!

My wife has been busy too.  She has washed all of our little lady's clothes and bedding.  She has also packed the bags for the hospital.  Even though we are 35 weeks through the pregnancy, with 5 weeks left to our due date, we know, because of the diabetes, that we will be having the baby before then.  So, whilst it might seem we have plenty of time to finish these things off, we are of the opinion that you can't be too prepared.  In fact, on Monday, I sent my wife a text checking she had plans to pack the bags, because I'd been told that morning that a friend of a colleague had given birth 5 weeks early.  Hearing things like this, as an expectant parent, only serves to make you more nervous and panic even more.  What if that happens to us?  Are we ready yet?

We started our NCT classes this week as well.  I had no idea what to expect from these classes.  After two sessions, I can honestly say that I have learned a huge amount.  Whilst much of what has been discussed has scared me, all of it has been informative.  There's been a lot talk, as you might expect, about labour.  The signs.  The stages.  The pain.  The drugs.  I've winced on several occasions and none of it will be happening to me physically. 
  

As part of the discussion on pain and pain relief, our class leader brought a TENS machine with her.  This part of the day definitely caused the most hilarity.  We were all given a chance to see how it works (at our own risk, of course) by attaching the pads to our lower arm.  There was an unofficial 'competition' among the expectant dads to see who could make their hand spasm the most by putting the machine on its highest setting and then pressing the 'Boost' button.  The guys found this funny, but there was more than one woman rolling  their eyes or tutting at their partner's juvenile behaviour.

Then there was the balls!  Great big, bouncy balls littering the room.  If you giggled at the last two sentences, then shame on you.  I'm talking about those gym balls that you see pregnant women rigorously bouncing up and down on in 'One Born Every Minute'.  One of the other fathers-to-be commented that getting across the room was like competing in a round of 'It's a Knockout'.  There are over half a dozen of them and every time I walk past them I have to resist the urge to start a game of football.  If we end up getting one at home I am worried that I will break things with my inability to treat it as anything but a really big basketball or football.

The now ready to use utility roorm

As well as this, I've finally cleared the utility room of all the decorating paraphernalia.  Let's ignore the fact it has been there since we moved in 3 months ago and celebrate the fact that it has been done before our daughter arrives.  Now the room can be used for sterilising bottles without the fear that half opened tins of paint and dirty paintbrushes will make any strelising we do completely pointless! It seems like there is nothing like the realisation that your child could arrive any day to make sure you get all of those last minute DIY jobs completed.