A Few of My Favourite Things

My daddy has taken a break from worrying (or at least boring you all about his worries) and now that I am over a month old, he has said I can take over his blog for the day.

So, I thought I'd share with you some of the things I am really enjoying about being on the outside, as well as some of the things I'm not enjoying so much.

1. Sleeping

I don't enjoy sleeping at night, obviously!  But, I do love sleeping on the big people during the day.  They are really warm and comfy, which means I can sleep easily on them.  I'm not enjoying sleeping in the bed mummy and daddy have bought for me.  It's too dark and quiet in the room and because of my funny breechy legs, I often kick off my blanket.  It doesn't matter though, because instead of sleeping in there, I cry a lot so that they will pick me up and then I can sleep on them.  And, if they do make me sleep in the cot, then I imitate the noises of a small woodland creature to keep them awake.  Suckers!

2. Feeding

I love milk.  I don't like it when mummy and daddy give me some milk and then keep taking it away when I'm not finished.  Ok, I might guzzle the lovely white stuff and, yes, it has made me a quite sick at times (daddy mentioned something about the Exorcist), but is that really a reason for them to keep taking it away whilst I'm clearly in the middle of drinking and then repeatedly tapping my back until I burp?  There's no dignity in being a baby sometimes!  If I can, then I try to burp in their faces for a bit of revenge.  When I'm hungry and wanting to be fed, daddy often puts me close to his face and lets me suck his nose.  He thinks it's funny and says I'm being really cute.  The truth is, and please don't tell him this because it might hurt his feelings, that I just think he looks a bit like a boob, so I have been trying to get milk out of him.

3. Bath Time

I wasn't sure about this at first.  I didn't know what was happening during my first bath time, so I let everyone know I didn't like it by screaming (I like screaming, especially when mummy and daddy look really tired).  But, I've grown to enjoy them.  I like waving my legs and arms around in the warm water.  I think I'm going to enjoy swimming.  However, the problem with baths is that I have to eventually get out.  I hate that part.  It is simply cruel to take me from somewhere so warm and comfy.  They've done that before (well, not them but some other big people in masks and funny hats).  It was just over a month ago and I wasn't very impressed then!  I get really cold between the bath and the changing mat, so I scream some more.  Then they treat me like I'm a Formula One car having a pit stop at Silverstone.  One of them takes the head end and one takes the other end.  I get dried in 10 seconds flat and have a nappy put on in a flash.  I'm not sure if they are timing themselves or whether they are trying to break some kind of record, but it isn't much fun.

4. Nappy Changes

Apart from having a bath, I'm not keen on being naked.  I really don't enjoy it when mummy and daddy decide that I need a new nappy.  But, we've already established that I am cunning and keen to extract revenge when the opportunity arises, so I wait until the new nappy is on and then I do a wee, or if I'm feeling especially annoyed about having my peace and quiet disturbed by having a nappy change, then I wait until I'm fully changed again and I do something a lot more sinister in there.  Okay, I know it means I need to have another nappy change, but, believe me, it's easier being cleaned than having to do the cleaning, so I'm the winner every time!  Another thing that I don't enjoy about nappy changes is that mummy and daddy sing to me.  Don't get me wrong, mummy's singing is pretty good (daddy, on the other hand, is tone deaf), but they sing such a silly little song.  They think they are being funny by adapting the MC Hammer classic to "Stop.  It's nappy time'.  I think they are being wallies.

5. Presents

I've been a very lucky girl and I've received lots and lots of lovely presents.  I have had so many clothes, cuddly toys, blankets and toys from lots of people I haven't even met yet.  I love wearing all of my new clothes.  I love it so much in fact that I have devised a new strategy to make sure I get through as many different clothes in a day as possible.  I store up my nappy bound substances until there is so much that I know the nappy I'm wearing can't contain them and then I release.  This way, I get an extra bath, which is fun, and some different clothes.  There is only one present that I have been sent that I didn't like.  Daddy has a Geordie friend who clearly has very poor taste in football teams, because he sent me a lovely t-shirt which has been ruined with the addition of the Newcastle United badge.  Daddy says I have to wear it when we see them in November, so I'm planning one of my nappy explosions as soon as they put it on me!

6. My Family

I have the best family.  They are all so generous, happy and cuddly.  They make such a fuss of me whenever I see any of them.  I love being around them and they love me.  My nana hadn't seen me for about a week recently and she phoned my daddy to say that she was worried I would be in school by the time she next saw me.  She is funny!  I have especially enjoyed meeting my big cousins.  I saw them properly for the first time last week.  I'd met them before but I was sleeping then so I didn't remember them.  This time, I woke up to see three big faces staring at me.  I was a little confused at first, but they were all smiling and I had lots of kisses from them.  I liked that a lot.  I can't wait until I am old enough to play with them properly.  I was not so impressed with my grampy.  I met him properly last week too and I now know who I need to blame for my double chin.

I hope daddy will let me write again soon.

Daisy. X

Revenge is a Dish Best Served at 2am!

Daisy isn't sleeping very well at the moment.  Actually, that's not correct, she is sleeping brilliantly during the day.  She sleeps soundly most of the day, even if we are out or if there is lots of noise and light in the house.  She has slept soundly for most of her visitors.  When we have had a room full of people, including her young cousins, none of whom are being quiet, she is passed around and doesn't even stir from her slumber.  Her Grampy thinks she doesn't have eyes because, both times he has visited her, she has slept the entire time!

It is sleeping during the night that is the problem.  Last night, she was up for over five straight hours.  I'm not naive enough to think that Daisy is the only newborn baby not to sleep properly.  We are having the same experience as many parents have in the first few weeks of their baby's life.  However, it is difficult not to question whether it is something you have done wrong, especially when she also managed to wee and poo on me over the last 24 hours.  Maybe Daisy is getting revenge for something her mother or I have done.

Perhaps she is less than impressed with the ridiculous colour of the buggy we push her around in.  It would make sense; she does sleep whenever she is in the buggy or matching car seat.  Clearly she doesn't want to be associated with her parents' shocking taste.  Could it be some of the clothes we dress her in?  Again, I don't think I'd blame her, some of the clothes we have bought for her would definitely class as crimes against fashion.  All of the clothes that friends and family have given her are beautiful, but she is currently too small to fit in to the many wonderful outfits she has been given.  So, for now she has to put up with some of the gaudy clothes we have bought for her.  Maybe it is her father's 'poor' taste in music.  My younger brother would definitely agree with her on this one.  Daisy has to listen to my music in the car and in the night when we are trying to settle her.  Is it possible that she is so unimpressed with Mumford and Sons, Ben Howard and The Lumineers that she would decide to get her own back when we all should be sleeping?

Of course, I do realise that Daisy isn't really extracting revenge on her parents.  Although, that is harder to believe when she isn't screaming at 2am in the morning having been changed, fed and burped!  The reality is that she is just adjusting to life and can't quite figure out when she should be sleeping and when she should be awake.  As well as this, she is unsettled at the moment because her mother is currently on antibiotics which are effecting her own digestion.  It must be uncomfortable for her and it certainly can't help her with sleeping.  The course of antibiotics is almost complete and soon both of my girls should be better and we can try to get some normality into our lives.  Breastfeeding is still a challenge but it is getting better and I'm constantly amazed about my wife's ability to persevere with something which has caused her great pain and has resulted in two infections.

During the small hours of the morning it is difficult to think about anything other than Daisy's inability to sleep despite our best efforts, but I am absolutely loving fatherhood.  One of my favourite things is watching my daughter with her mother.  Despite their early challenges with breastfeeding, when Daisy would get so irate at the fact her mother wanted to do something so cruel as feed her, the connection between them is very special.  I love watching Daisy gazing admiringly at her mother and vice versa.

The list of other things I am enjoying about fatherhood is limitless.  However, I have been able to think about the things I enjoy the most.  These include nappy changing.  No, I didn't type that incorrectly.  I actually mean it.  It isn't so much changing the nappies that I enjoy.  It is the toilet humour which comes from it.  Daisy has a tendency to wee mid nappy change.  We think that it has something to do with the change of temperature.  It often results in a change of clothes for Daisy, nevertheless it is humorous trying to stem a river of urine before it flows off of the changing mat and on to our new cream carpets.  Until yesterday, I was relieved that Daisy didn't have the 'range' a boy would.  And then, she showed yesterday that she does have quite an impressive range after all, as she managed to get wee all over my foot!  She has also cannoned a less pleasant substance at me twice during nappy changes.  This was probably more funny for my wife than for me but I have managed to find the funny side too whilst scrubbing my hands with industrial strength soap!  She makes us jump with the loud noises that emanate from her when she is filling her nappy.  Of course, this then leads to more hysterics.  How could someone so small and cute make such a massive noise?  Considering the content of this paragraph, if my daughter was able to read then it would give her another reason to extract revenge on her parents by keeping them up all night!

There's also the shopping.  It's not actually the shopping I enjoy.  It is the admiring glances my daughter gets.  It is the many women of a certain age fussing and cooing over Daisy as she sits in the trolley seat looking adorable.  It fills me with immense pride.  There is something else which is positive when going shopping.  No, it isn't the huge cost at the end now that we need 3 or 4 packs of nappies each and every time we visit the supermarket.  It is the parking.  Let's face it, supermarket shopping is painful at the best of times.  The first challenge always being to find a good parking spot which isn't half a mile away from the shop.  So, thanks to Daisy I am able to use the 'Parent and Child' parking spaces.  Ironically, since Daisy was born, we have overindulged in chocolate and junk food.  Therefore, we would probably benefit from walking a bit further when we get to the shops.

The thing I most enjoy though is just holding my daughter and spending time with her.  I spend a large amount of my day now just staring at Daisy.  I am fascinated by everything she does.  When she sleeps, she seems to be experimenting with various different faces.  She smiles, she grimaces, she purses her lips.  This might seem cruel, but I also find it funny to watch Daisy when she has the hiccups or sneezes.  As there is nothing I can do to help her when this happens, I have found the time to record her on my phone!

Nappy Days

One of my first duties as a new father, as I understand it, will not be an altogether pleasant experience.  Of course, I'm not talking about any of those things I can't wait for, like holding and cuddling my daughter for the first time or seeing her in her mother's arms.  No, I'm referring to changing the first dirty nappy.  I'm led to believe that it is a scenario which strips both parties of their dignity.

For those of you who have already experienced these meconium nappies, I take my hat off to you.  (Well I would if I was wearing one.  I'm not.  I don't like them messing up my hair!)  You survived to tell the tale, which gives me inspiration.  I am, however, still fairly worried about what lies ahead.  Everyone I have talked to about these first nappies describes them as disgusting and impossible to clean up.  Now, I would love to believe that my daughter will be like the Queen and not do anything in her nappy other than the occasional wee.  But, the reality is that she will be like all other babies and I will be called upon to do the honours whilst my wife recovers after the birth.

During our final NCT class this week, we were given the opportunity to change a nappy.  We were allowed to select our own 'baby' from a basket full of them.  Don't panic.  They weren't real babies.  They were dolls.  We'll skip over the fact that my wife chose the weirdest looking one in the basket for us and move straight on to the nappy changing.  Assuming that the nappy I was changing was just a clean nappy (because after all, dolls don't poo or wee), I happily started to undress the doll and take off the nappy.  It was at this point that I realised everything was not quite right.  The reaction of those around me tipped me off to the fact that there was something unexpected to be found in our dolls' nappies.

Our NCT course leader hadn't been sourcing actual baby poo to put in these nappies, but she had done the next best thing.  She had used various condiments to simulate baby poo.  My nappy contained a runny yellow substance which turned out to be Dijon mustard.  The couple next to me had one with treacle in it to simulate meconium.  We were given just water and cotton wool to get our dolls clean.  Why no baby wipes?  Good question.  It is frowned upon to use baby wipes on newborns.  So, when we got home, we removed our pack of wipes from our hospital bag as neither of us wants to be tutted at by a disappointed midwife.  Cleaning my doll was easy enough.  Yes, I did get some on my hands.  But, I managed to clean it up and put on a new nappy quite successfully.  Those with treacle in the nappy struggled.  Warm water and cotton wool aren't enough to get treacle, or meconium, off of a baby's bum.  You need a chisel, blow torch and some sand paper.  Although, I think that you might get more than a disapproving look or a less than subtle tut if you unloaded any or all of these from your bag at the hospital.

I'm hoping that I will be so euphoric after the birth of our baby that changing even the most disgusting of nappies will not affect my mood.  If not, I guess that's what therapists are for!